The Search For Truth
by Kraven Ergeist
Summary: Set post series - Kallen is determined to learn the truth after what happened with Lelouch. Even if it involves getting a Geass of her own. Kallen x Lelouch and CC x Lelouch in later chapters.


**Code Geass Fan Fiction**

**The Search for Truth**

By Kraven Ergeist

Chapter One

Kallen Kozuki had never officially finished school before joining the Black Knights. That didn't mean that she wasn't knowledgeable in Japanese history, politics, language and the arts, not to mention math and science. As a child, she had opted out of the dogmatic propaganda of the Brittanian school system and sought out underground libraries where original Japanese texts were kept hidden from the fires of Brittanian book burners. From a young age, Kallen had known that her Japanese origins were unjustly stifled, like it was a shame on her identity that she should share blood with the people that had once lived here for hundreds of generations. From a young age, she had felt betrayed by her parents for trying to pretend her Japanese heritage didn't exist, her country for segregating the two peoples that made up her identity, everyone around her for going along with it.

Except for her brother, Naoto. Naoto had been her inspiration. It had been by his guiding hand that Kallen educated herself, both on the evils of the world around them, and the fields of study necessary for surviving it. Not just academics – by the age of thirteen, Kallen had already become well versed in firearms, field munitions, heavy infantry, strategic deployment and tactical espionage. So by the time she joined the resistance, she was already a capable fighter. Playing out her role at Ashford Academy, she easily passed all of the math and science classes, and knew what misinformation to cough up for the dogmatic history and literature classes. There was nothing to be gained from her role as a student but an alias and suitable disguise.

That was the past. Now, she was in school, not just to learn beyond the scope of what she needed to survive, but to earn her right to live in the free world as a respectable adult. That was Lelouch's gift to this world. That she could live her life as a free woman, and not have to hide who she was. She could participate in her world and speak her mind freely, and not have to worry about the oppression of a dictator. She was grateful, and her inability to express her gratitude to him was more than she could bear. Thinking back on Lelouch always brought feelings of sadness. Sadness that she had not been able to help him facilitate his plan. Maybe, if she had known sooner… Maybe if she had been involved…

He had died for the sake of the world. His death had improved everyone's way of life. That had been his plan, and it had worked. And it made her want to scream. Why? Why did he have to die? While at times he seemed cold hearted and even crazy, in hindsight, he had been the most selfless beneficiary the world could have asked for. Why did he have to die? Because he was the only one willing to? He didn't deserve to die. He was the only one doing the right thing when the entire world was trying to destroy itself. He didn't deserve to die, and the world didn't deserve him.

She spent her days going through the motions, pretending to live her life like a normal eighteen-year-old girl. She didn't feel clean, enjoying the spoils of his death. Everywhere around her, she saw happiness and prosperity. People, for the most part, were happier. What right did she have to deny them that happiness? It's not like anyone else knew Lelouch orchestrated the whole thing. Maybe some suspected, but no one knew…

No. One person knew for sure. Whoever was now wearing Zero's mask – it must be Suzaku. Lelouch would allow no one else to take the role. No one else could dance his way around knightmare frames and assassinate the most powerful man in the world, even if it only looked spectacular. No one else would be willing or able to fit the role of Zero for the rest of their lives, save for Lelouch himself…

Of course, now Zero was Vicereine Nunnaly's personal bodyguard. While constantly in the public eye, Zero had devolved into a purely symbolic icon, like the atom bomb, that no one would dare to employ once they'd seen what it could do. He was the hero who liberated Japan, and now he stood for its independence. He was as coveted a figure as any Emperor had been to Japan. Nunnally was the decision maker, and while she had a head on her shoulders, she presided over the protectorate of the newly liberated Japan with a compassion that was all too necessary after hundreds of years of Brittanian presence in the world. Backed by Zero, with Prince Schneizel, the last vestige of Brittanian autocracy at his beck and call, no one would oppose her.

Kallen had no desire to meddle in the affairs of politicians. She had had her fill of such matters for the majority of her adolescent life. She did, however, feel the burning desire for answers, to hear firsthand the truth behind Lelouch's decision. It would be nice to speak to Nunnally as Kallen Kozuki, and not Kallen Stadtfeld as she always had at Ashford. And it would be just as nice to speak with Suzaku as something other than enemies, even respectful enemies. As Lelouch's Knight of Zero, and bearer of his title after his own demise, Suzaku must have been Lelouch's truest and dearest friend. That being said, it was obvious to Kallen that Suzaku already suffered for what he had had to do. Kallen had no desire to make him suffer any more. She simply needed…closure, she guessed. As much as Lelouch had confided in her over the years, she had always felt like she had been left out of the loop. It was only natural to feel the need to peer inside. And now that the dust had settled, it shouldn't harm anything to do so.

Suppose she didn't like what she found? Then she would deal with it. Knowledge, even painful knowledge, was always better than ignorance in the long run. Suppose she only succeeded in digging up old wounds? If not for herself, than for Nunnally and Suzaku? Surely, simply paying them a visit was allowed. They may be state officials now, but she had been the Black Knight's top soldier, and besides, she was their friend. At least, she hoped she was. It would be nice to keep in touch with everyone from before. Ougi had become Japan's Prime Minister, and all the black knights had gone off to live normal lives. She still wrote them every now and then, but she hadn't met face to face with anyone for some time.

And CC…she hadn't seen her since the incident.

Kallen frowned as she walked into the government building in her school uniform, knapsack slung over her back. Too many questions had been left unanswered. It was time to answer them…

xxxxx

Half an hour later, Kallen marched out of the state house, decidedly angrier than when she had entered it. Nunnally was kind and listened attentively, but she was also a lot smarter than Kallen had given her credit for. She had insisted on having Kallen sit with her over tea and had wasted fifteen minutes simply discussing the weather and other trivialities. Under the pretense of abiding by Japanese tradition, and never speaking out of turn, not only had Nunally extricated herself from the conversation without disclosing any relevant information, but had dismissed Kallen without giving away even an inkling as to whether she knew anything that Kallen was after.

Kallen clenched her fists. The girl was good – she was well suited to diplomacy, and her eagerness in her young age to listen and understand made her an expert in her youth on traditions and customs, and that gave her an advantage in understanding policy. She was probably the best person to preside over Japan – her presence made Ougi's job as prime minister much simpler. Of course, it also made Kallen's objective of sitting down for a _meaningful_ conversation with anyone of influence nigh impossible.

She gritted her teeth. She was too used to being Zero's right hand man. She was too used to having access to his ear on a regular basis. It had been too long since she had had to work her way from the ground up. But she had before, and she could do it again. All she needed was a foothold…

If she could get in contact with Zero, then she might be able to make some headway. Of course, the easiest way reaching Zero was through vicereine Nunally, but that was proving difficult. She could try talking to Ougi, but he would just refer her to Nunally. She needed someone who had access to the inner circle. Someone who wouldn't mind divulging secrets to someone like her. The only problem is, anyone who fit that description had disappeared the day Lelouch died…

She fought back a sob. She was so frustrated and angry, and the people she missed were making their absence felt all the more when she found herself needing them. She would even accept CC's help the way she was now!

"You seem pretty desperate," came a voice.

Kallen spun around, not aware that she had been followed. She had been walking along a fairly populated street that shouldn't have been dangerous, but immediately her fighting instincts took over and she widened her stance and cast her eyes at the boy in front of her, eying her surrounding for other possible enemies and escape routes that she might have to employ.

As for the boy, he was fairly unassuming. Ashford Academy school uniform, buttoned loosely after school hours. Shaggy black hair covered his head, and he had dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Who are you?" Kallen said tersely. Not impolitely, but with enough force to let him know that she didn't feel like being messed with.

The boy – he couldn't have been older than 15 – smiled. "My name is not important. What's important is the information I have for you…"

He trailed off, and Kallen narrowed her eyes. What was this kid playing at?

"Information?" she asked, crossing her arms. She foresaw two possibilities – that this was all some kind of misunderstanding or prank…or that this boy was someone left over from the days of the Black Knights, either a soldier, a spy, or…

"Lelouch is alive…"

Kallen's heart was in her throat. "…What did you say?"

She felt herself sweating profusely, her skin tingled, and her hair stood on end. No. It wasn't possible. She couldn't allow herself to believe it! She couldn't allow herself a smidgen of hope that would inevitably prove itself false…

The boy's eyes were almost zombie-like as he shifted his stance. "Do you want to know where he is?"

Kallen found herself wishing she still kept a sidearm on her hip. "Who are you? What are you trying to pull? I'm not in the mood for games…"

"I assure you…" the boy said, lifting his hand to his brow. "This is no game…"

Kallen flinched at his movement, but he only tugged back his bangs back to reveal his forehead. Kallen blinked and suddenly stepped back as she saw it.

The mark on his forehead! The curved red arch that made up a pair of wings! It was identical to the one on CC's forehead!

"My name is LL…" the boy said placidly, eyes locked with hers.

"Eru…tsu…?" Kallen mouthed the syllables, trying to make sense of them. She suddenly felt very vulnerable. This was no Black Knight. This was someone from the Geass project! But they should have all been wiped out! She was there when it happened! It was a day that still haunted her, watching children be put to death simply because they had been unfortunate enough to be selected for the project. How could this boy have survived…?

"If you wish to find Lelouch…" he said, staunchly, his calm at odds with the thrumming of her heart. "Then make a pact with me…and you shall learn the truth…"

Kallen swallowed. Her vision seemed to narrow. Every nerve in her body was telling her to run. This kid was trouble! Even if what he promised was genuine, it couldn't be worth the danger of what he was offering. Accepting such a contract had been the death of Lelouch, and something that had destroyed someone as powerful as Lelouch would have no difficulty breaking her as well.

But if what this boy…this LL had said was true…

Kallen's lips moved, and her knapsack fell from her shoulder and hit the cement walkways with a loud thud, obscuring what came out of her mouth.

LL's lips curved into a smile. "Very well then…"

Kallen closed her eyes, wondering if she had done the right thing. Could she live without knowing the truth? Did she even want to? Would she willingly give up her life and her peace of mind for the sake of knowing the truth? Some truths were meant to be left uncovered. Some truths were too painful to speak.

Kallen opened her eyes. Her right eye itched, but she resisted the urge to rub at it. She stared ahead at where the strange boy had stood…but he was gone.

Kallen shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself. She suddenly felt very cold. Picking up her knapsack, she quickly made her way to her house in Shinjuku.

She avoiding speaking with her mother on her way in, relying on her training to step silently as the older woman busied herself in the kitchen. Her mother had been attending rehab for the past few years, and Kallen was honestly proud of her. But she couldn't offer her words of appreciation at the moment. For now, Kallen simply dropped onto her bed, buried her face in her pillow. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She felt like an idiot. She felt unclean. What had she just done?

She got up and stared at her face in the mirror. She tugged at her cheek under her right eye, opening it wide and leaning in to examine it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The itch had faded. She still didn't know what she was capable of. CC had mentioned to her that Geass had different effects on different people. Would she bend people to her will, the way Lelouch had? Would she read people's minds, like Mao? Or would she be able to alter memory the way the emperor could? Or freeze people like Rolo? She had to experiment – and she wasn't going to try it on anyone she was close to, least of all her mother.

Peering out her bedroom window, she spied her landlady sweeping around the stoop of their apartment. Kallen swallowed the last of her hesitation and called out to her, waving kindly. As the landlady turned her head and made eye contact, Kallen concentrated on her Geass.

It was surprising how natural the act came to her. It was almost instinctual. Like simply reaching out and touching someone with your arm. You didn't think about how you did it – you just did it. It was second nature to her already.

The landlady waved up to her. "Hello Kallen. How's your mother?"

Kallen didn't speak. Couldn't. She staggered back, confused. What had just happened? Nothing seemed to have happened, aside from a sudden jolt to her system.

Except…for some reason, she knew some things about her landlady that had never come up in discussion. She knew that her husband had died in one of Brittania's raids. She knew that her son and gone mad with refrain and killed himself. She knew that the landlady was particularly interested in the elderly fellow who lived next door to Kallen and her mother, who always sat outside to play shougi. And she knew that she absolutely despised Kallen and her mother for making it through both the war and an addiction to refrain, something her family had not been so fortunate in.

Kallen sat back on her bed, stunned.

What exactly was this Geass of hers?

xxxxx

Over the next few days, Kallen began to piece together the capabilities of her new power. After discovering the secret crush of a boy in her class on the girl three chairs over, a teacher who secretly spent his off hours in the red light district, little to the knowledge of his wife, and a girl in her class who was trying to hide the fact that she was a lesbian, Kallen began to figure out the pattern.

Her Geass was to see the truth. To uncover secrets. To see through deception. She could peer into people's most personal secrets, whether they were harmless school crushes, or deep inner demons.

The janitor at Ashford, for instance, who had been a solider in the original Japanese resistance army, still woke up from nightmares, which terrified and shamed him to no end. The school nurse was three months pregnant, and she believed the father was the teacher she had had relations with and not her husband. A girl in her class occasionally stole some money out of her mother's purse when she wasn't looking. A boy in her class had killed someone in self defense and had never told anyone about it.

Everyone who she could make eye contact with, Kallen could see everything that they wished to hide from the world. She couldn't see things that someone had no desire to hide, or had no knowledge of. She couldn't see whether someone was aware of a stain on their shirt or what their homework assignment was, or even what they were thinking that exact moment most of the time. Only if their thoughts were on something private, something secret, could Kallen read them.

It had to be by eye contact, and it had to be deliberate – it did not affect an area like Rolo or Mao's Geass had. She could read people more than once, but it did her little good other than to double check something – people's secrets did not change all too often, though they did accumulate over time, she reasoned. Someone might have a secret the day after having nothing to hide. Repeated uses did take their toll after a while. On her first day, she could use her Geass no more than a dozen times before having to lie down. Her second day, she was up to thirty as she got more used to it. The next day, it was over fifty. She found herself eating and exercising more to keep up her energy, but it was getting easier and easier to use it in succession.

This was a powerful Geass indeed, she realized. Not only could she discover all that she needed to know just by making eye contact with the right people, but she could also hold sway over people by blackmailing them with a threat of exposing their deepest darkest secrets. The idea made her ill…but it was an option worth considering, should the need arise.

She didn't have to be so manipulative, she realized. Seeing what someone had to hide, seeing their personal secrets…it allowed her to manipulate them, true…but not necessarily in a conniving manner. Seeing people's secrets told her a lot about what kind of person they were. It spoke volumes as to what someone's motivations and desires were. Having no secrets from her meant that she could understand people much better than she could have otherwise. It would be best to keep her knowledge of their private lives a secret she decided, but it still allowed her to appeal to people in ways that no one else could.

For instance, if she took what she knew about the various secret crushes she had found out while interacting with her fellow students, she found that several of them coincided – that is, two people secretly had a crush on each other, and neither knew it, cliché though that was. It would be a simple matter to arrange for them to get together. They would be happier for it, and if she were an active participant in this arrangement, then that would endear her to the parties involved as well. A much more preferable use of her power, Kallen decided, hypothetical though it may be.

With this, Kallen realized, she could look into vicereine Nunally's eyes, and learn all that she had been withholding from her. She could discover what the young woman knew about Zero, CC, and Lelouch. Of course, being a vicereine must involve keeping secrets from a great deal of people. There would be a lot of information to sort through, should she look into Nunnally's heart.

And there was still a risk of being found out. None of the people Kallen had used her Geass on seemed to even realize what was happening. Kallen had performed her Geass in the mirror and saw that her eye had glowed with the Geass symbol (as well as discovering many things about herself and her own secrets). Regardless, the people she performed a Geass on had no idea of what was going on, or even that her eye had donned the symbol. But would a passerby who happened to be looking at her eyes while doing it notice her? And Nunally had been Geassed before by Lelouch. Would she recognize the feeling? Geassing a state official could be a federal offense. Did it even feel the same as the one Lelouch has used on her? When Kallen had used the Geass on herself in the mirror, she hadn't felt any different than when she had normally used the Geass, apart from the realization that having this power was now _her_ deepest darkest secret – more so than Zero's identity, more so than her feelings for…

She shut down that part of her mind. She had waited long enough. It was time to speak to vicereine Nunally. It was time to learn the truth.

One way or another…


End file.
